Narrator: And so Kappo and The Rev perfected rock and roll time travel, learned the many secrets to man kind and beyond. But nothing really changed in their own space and time. Turns out ancient mystical knowledge does you little good in a society of media poisoned, corn syrup zombies. So like many disaffected intellectuals they went to slack off, teaching at the university.


Rev: Allright, if I see someone with a fucking iPad out when I am speaking, I'm going to choke them with my dick.

Kappo: For this class your google and gadgetry will do you no good.

Rev: I'm serious Dianna, put that tablet away or I will sodomize you. Listen kid you signed the release when you joined my class.

Kappo: You think you got it in you after all the sodomizing you did last hour?

Rev: oh, I'll get it up, I just ate a whole pineapple too. might take a while, but we'll get there.

Kappo: You're assignment was to write a 2,000 word essay on the most politically effective American president.

Rev: Kappo and I spent the entirety of spring break pouring over your work hoping to find someone worthy to impart our wisdom to…

Kappo: but unfortunately, you all failed.

Rev: Clearly each one of you is a institutionalized, half-thinking, goon. You all fail, better lick next semester. Get the fuck out of my classroom!


from How Do You Build A Media Empire?, released July 4, 2014
Kappo and The Rev



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