How Do You Build A Media Empire?

by Dead Candidates

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about

"How Do You Build A Media Empire?" is the first album in the opening trilogy released by Dead Candidates. Join Kappo and The Rev as they spark their destiny and light the way towards a future so mind bending, you might just lose yours through the listening process. Time traveling rock and roll bends, and nearly breaks our rail as we toy with the fabric of existence for a cheap thrill and end up fighting for our lives. Evolving Rock into a new genre of adventure-edutainment-metal Dead Candidates meld the feel of big broadcast news with raw, ritualistic rock.

credits

released July 4, 2014

Dead Candidates:
Kappo: Voice, Lyrics, Music
The Rev: Voice, Lyrics
Ragebeast: Voice, Guitar
Jesse Shaw: Voice, Music #20
PBK: Drums #3 & #18
Jörmungandr: Voice #3 & #18, Music #19

Copyright 2014 Pophorse Records®
Produced, Mixed and Mastered by: Geoffrey Makousky

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Dead Candidates Minneapolis, Minnesota

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Track Name: How Do You Build A Media Empire?
"Media Empire"

Where do you get your news? What do you add to the conversation?
You think you can fuck with Kappo and The Rev, huh?
Well motherfucker, you’ve got to choose.

How do you build a media empire?
There’s only one thing to do
write a motherfucking check to Kappo and The Rev
Let us ‘be’ the news.

What do you think you know?
The puppet masters who are in control?
They are the madmen in the machine
the transhumanist beings.

We fired up our business with a pocket full of lint
to topple corporations and the U.S. government
we got hacked to pieces by the N.S.A.
got fired from our gig for not being cliches.

What made you what you are?
The universe laughed at us, so we took it's power.
Now all that is yours is ours.
You are the blackness and we are the stars.

Who's got the biggest media empire?
Kappo and The Rev.
What is your favorite brilliant broadcast
Kappo and The Rev.

Forced at dick-point to broadcast the news
People will willingly die for this

People will like this like Christopher Walken
Kappo and The Rev have started talking
People will like this like 80's cock rocking
Kappo and The Rev have started talking

How do you build a media empire?
There's only one thing to do
go to sianetradio.net for the
real independent news
Track Name: Humble Beginnings
Kappo: Kappo and The Rev, just building a media empire brick by brick.
We're on every day now at 10am on (redacted).com, live.

Rev: It kind of feels like now I can legitimately look down on the
other media outlets out there because our walls,
our bricks have been built so big
that now when I'm looking down my nose.
'Wow, I really do see them down there.'
y'know?

Kappo: All the other media empires look like ants from up here!

Rev: Every empire must die someday...
Track Name: Thank You For Being A Fiend
Thank you for being a FIEND
traveled up that ASS and back AGAIN
your heart is BLACK, you're a FAGGOT
and a piece of SHIT

and if you threw a party
invited everyone you'd JEWED
you would see the biggest COCK
would be in YOU
the manifesto attached would say
thank you for being a FIEND
Track Name: Plastique Position
Come sit with me on the bridge,
we'll take our toll of dirty looks from the pitiful cliques
come lay with me down on the tracks
we'll derail the train with our necks.

You can trust me not to let you bleed
any more than needed.
We're professional ego bruisers
my macho little baby.

I thought you did lot's of drugs
I thought you we're the hero of the losers
I thought you we're really, really mean
I wondered what your mother thought of you.

You made your hair jet-fucking-black
you went to rehab twice, then back
you choked the captain of the team
you threw your fit of rage

Plastic, every single one of you, plastic.
Mommy and Daddy in debt harassment.
Buy me everything, teach me nothing
Stroke my ego, suck my honey

Coming from a plastique position
shopping at the mall for my uniform appearance
coming from a plastique position
coming from my mouth is this tacit admission

My incredible special spectacle
fucking up a enemy laden haven
ego's made me a craven mad man
creating hate on a whim.
Track Name: Second of Three Songs For The Serpent
This song is for the serpent
A nun, a goat and a twelve-inch dildo
This song is for all the rapists
a blade, bouncy castle and a twelve-pack of beer
This song is for the carpenter
Some nails, some paper and misunderstanding
This song is for the tumor
Smoking, burning and my sweetest friend.

This song is for the unborn
This song is for Mr. Rogers
This song is for Old Saint Peter
This song is for many hard feelings
a noose, a coat hanger and a gleam in my eye
anal beads, cocaine and a complex mind
a rock, a bandit, hanging upside down
a hymen, a hymn and a place to hum.

This song is for the homeless
Boxing gloves, menthol and a frozen death
This song is for Madonna
an angel, a rape and a stained blue cloak
This song is for my pussy
a phone pole, a wound and a slice of cherry pie
This song is for the politicians
rug burn, semen and a touch of regret

This song is for you.
This song was always for you.

This song is for the wide eyed school girls
a handful of pills, a backseat confession
This song is for the jaded hipsters
headaches, vomiting, turn your head and cough
This song is for all our mothers
disappointment, failure and self-mutilation
This song is for our corporate executive
GMO, Napalm and a barbed-wire heartbeat.
Track Name: Visit The Tomb of Warren G. Harding
It's 1923! Time to make a whole new world.
He's getting closer to the money
need to sever the umbilical cord

Visit the tomb of Warren G. Harding

Tamper with anything you want
but never, ever touch the money.
no.

Visit the tomb of Warren G. Harding
smell the arsenic on the ground
the truth is obvious to the observant
he was killed by the dark serpent

Tamper with anything you please
as long as you stay down on one knee
below me

To cover up crimes the institution lies
to defend our ways the road has been paved with lies
for everything that we've ever claimed to be (that's me)
the rest of the world, it's the opposite they see (deceit)
Track Name: Empire Building 101
Rev: Allright, if I see someone with a fucking iPad out when I am speaking, I'm going to choke them with my dick.

Kappo: For this class your google and gadgetry will do you no good.

Rev: I'm serious Dianna, put that tablet away or I will sodomize you. Listen kid you signed the release when you joined my class.

Kappo: You think you got it in you after all the sodomizing you did last hour?

Rev: oh, I'll get it up, I just ate a whole pineapple too. might take a while, but we'll get there.

Kappo: You're assignment was to write a 2,000 word essay on the most politically effective American president.

Rev: Kappo and I spent the entirety of spring break pouring over your work hoping to find someone worthy to impart our wisdom to…

Kappo: but unfortunately, you all failed.

Rev: Clearly each one of you is a institutionalized, half-thinking, goon. You all fail, better lick next semester. Get the fuck out of my classroom!
Track Name: Presidents' Day
They think they've got you fooled
Baby, they got you under rule
and every other one of us
is fashioned into a tool
They think they've got you fooled
baby, they got you under rule
Thank god for the shepherd
a lion for the leper

I voted red, you voted blue
I voted to exterminate the lot of you
I voted blue, you voted red
they voted for god, I voted for the serpents head

I voted red, you voted blue
I voted to drop these bombs upon you
I voted blue, you voted red
So I could blame the other guy
for everything I've said

Who's your favorite sociopathic murderer president?
My favorite is Andrew Jackson
motherfucker killed a lot of dudes with red skin.
So I see you like a leader unafraid of murder and mayhem
let's institutionalize this violence with 'free men'.
My favorite be Old Abe Lincoln
keep these fuckers dumb
so they ain't even thinking.

Presidents Day is a good day.
To die, to lie, to fry, to die.
Track Name: An Accurate Portrayal of Columbus
Sailor 1: "Hark. Land Ho!"

Sailor 2: "Captain Columbus, we made it! We've found the east indies!"

Rev: "All right let's take a look at this fucking land mass we got here. Where's my god damn spy glass… where's that useless first mate of mine?"

Kappo: "Sir, it appears to be inhabited by a delightful race of dark skinned, yet friendly natives."

Rev: "Oh nice, tell the other ships to hang back. I want first crack at em."

Kappo: "Captain, please I know it's been many long months without…"

Rev: "Shut the fuck up, I been working off the memory of Queen Isabella's send off since we left port."

Kappo: "Sir, does my affection mean nothing to you?"

Rev: "Just ready the landing craft, I'm going ashore."

Kappo: "Of course sir."

Rev: bend it over, I don't want to be too horny while i'm rowing to shore.
Track Name: Columbus Day
Rape a native for Columbus Day
wrap me in your blanket
give me the fucking plague
Subvert a people for Columbus Day
trade me a trinket for the
U S of Fuckin' A.

Lay your mother in a shallow grave
save the scalp so you get paid
The rest of your family are new slaves
one day a bunch of dumb motherfuckers
will celebrate Columbus Day.

Destroy a culture for Columbus Day
inferior to Catholicism in every way
Burn down a village for Columbus Day
Queen Isabella must have been just a
Fuck of a lay.

-we gotta get that sum byitch
somebody jump in the back of my pickup truck
there's several shotguns beyak deyah-
Track Name: Easter
Roll that boulder you're three days older
jump off that cross, get on with your life
Roll that boulder you're three days older
you're still not ready to be my christ.
Will he fall? Will he fall?
Is there an end to it all?
can i trust the machine?
are we just human beings?
who repeat lots of lies
that get passed down over time
we forget what we've learned
and we'll get what we deserve
What's a little blood
between your loves?
The god inside and the god above.
What's a little blood
between your loves?
The god inside
and the god inside the god.
Track Name: Black Friday
Binge on another jingle
just before you puke
spawn of Alice Walton's cheshire cunt
when 50% scrapes the back of your throat
are you ready to accept the payoff load?

It's black friday so let the blood flow
fuck the 6am sales at Macy's and Home Depot
bloodshot eyes, a drunken ride
got an Xbox One before midnight

She had a pretty good life
until black friday when she got
curb stomped for the knockout game
With rock so topical
Kappo and The Rev
melting Vanilla Ice
John Lennon and Jesus Christ

I got a cheap 62 inch HD
it's covered in blood
with cracks on the screen
The devil is in the dollar
and there's oh so many
your soul is up for grabs
but it's only worth a penny

Buy my love with plastic
buy me something drastic
drowned in debt but fuck it
I saved 90% (put it all on credit)
Track Name: Swiss Family Rothschild Christmas
It’s a Rothschild Christmas, we own all the globe
we have all the money but the serpent has our soul
control from the inside is as easy as it seems
you can check your credit card statement
our name, you’ll never see

Celebrate this Christmas, forget for just one day
how deep the serpent is coiled inside
the systems’ willing slaves.
Buy me a proper Christmas
a bow upon a Lexus
a carol for a feeble mind
a debt that triples over time

Socialist Christmas time
no more guns, no more crime
Socialist Santa Claus
if you watch, you get shot

It’s a Rothschild Christmas, you better pay your debts
The serpent, much like the elephant, never fucking forgets
Santa Claus will put you deeply into debt
spend your cash at Walmart. fuck the ass of your pet.

Christmas is coming Mommy
Christmas is coming Daddy
can you get me a race?
a brand new, clean, white race.

There’s a feeling in the air and it’s anti-semitism everywhere
There are ashes in the air and it is from human corpses everywhere

Socialist Christmas time
no more guns, no more crime
Socialist Santa Claus
if you watch, you get shot
Socialist Christmas time
Old Saint Nick
dropping bombs from drones and shit
Socialist Jesus Christ
sun worship in disguise
Track Name: Perfect People w/UCKF
I try to open my mind
To all the crazies outside
You see, it's not what you think
I really like what they teach

They all have a place in their hearts
Where they can explore the faults
Of animals from the stew
And perfect people like you

  You flaunt it- I saw it
  You got it- I want it
  I hold you- You touch me
  You're perfect people like me

Somehow we all have to rise
Through all the nonsense and lies
I know it's not what it seems
It's getting harder to breathe

A sigh that sounds like relief
We numb ourselves with belief
We're animals from the stew
And perfect people like you
Track Name: How Do You Cure Media Poisoning?
you've got the thoughts we want you to
you watch sit-coms and cable news
catching the buzz of celebrity gossip
ignoring all war, turning a blind eye to atrocity
Track Name: O' Gamaliel
Oh Gamaliel
The only criminal I'm putting away is you
Tonight
I was willing to overlook it this one time,
You showed your scales in the light
and the public learned to be afraid
That's alright

So now the public they can go sleep tight
Knowing Warren, you’re on the other side
You can’t hurt them now that you have died,
Ain’t that right?

You served me well, you prince among men
Sweet Gamaliel

So now the people they can go get high
Elect officials to rob them blind
Churned through public schools
By a mastermind
Marching to their death with jingo-pride
Track Name: In Song
Such a face, pretty pretty face
Too bad you've been eating
Yourself alive
I've eaten a few boogeymen in my day
Can't you see them staining my teeth?

I should be considered dangerous
But only to someone who can hear
It's too exhausting to keep track
Of all the lies I have sold

Oh my heart, it breaks me so
There's a spider lives in the ventrical
Runs out when you get too close
Teeth will make you bleed, make you weep.

The only way I know to clear my name is in song.
But the only thing that cleanses my mind is the blood.
I know you want to do worse to me than what I did to you
I realize I will be a grave man in the morning
But tonight let me state my case tonight
Track Name: Visit The Tomb Of Warren G. Harding (Single)
It's 1923! Time to make a whole new world.
He's getting closer to the money
need to sever the umbilical cord

Visit the tomb of Warren G. Harding

Tamper with anything you want
but never, ever touch the money.
no.

Visit the tomb of Warren G. Harding
smell the arsenic on the ground
the truth is obvious to the observant
he was killed by the dark serpent

Tamper with anything you please
as long as you stay down on one knee
below me

To cover up crimes the institution lies
to defend our ways the road has been paved with lies
for everything that we've ever claimed to be (that's me)
the rest of the world, it's the opposite they see (deceit)